(Who needs another article on dealing with stress? You do. We can’t escape it these days, and having a strategy for dealing with your stress is smart, satisfying, and much more important to your well-being than hoarding toilet paper. )
In this life-changing time of COVID-19, we are all reminded of what deep suffering looks like, smells like, feels like. Oy.
Some of us are experiencing it up close and personal, and the stress is crippling, crushing, almost too much to bear.
Others of us are living through the pandemic in relative comfort and safety, and that too can bring on super stressful feelings of guilt, privilege, and what Roshi Joan Halifax calls “empathic distress.” (Our hospital workers are experiencing empathic distress burn-out big-time and it’s heart-wrenching to watch, isn’t it? All the more reason to stop and think through your at-home strategy for remaining calm. Hah!)
First question, to focus your overstimulated brain: How is the stress and distress in your life showing up? Low back pain? Stiff neck? Can’t sleep? Inertia? Endless trips to the snack drawer?
Question number two: What is your personal strategy for dealing with the stress ? (I’ll wait.)
Here’s the truth in the time of COVID-19: If you don’t have a strategy for dealing with debilitating stress, you’re missing a golden opportunity to help prevent depression, boost strength, and engage your immune system and your parasympathetic nervous system in a way that reduces your risk of getting sick, mentally and physically.
That’s what self-care is all about.
And self-care is what well-being feels like.
Got it? Good.
So back to stress and developing a strategy of your own.
In this intense at home time of everyone telling everyone else what to do, there are ten zillion suggestions out there for you to follow—from meditation to medication, from cannabis to Crown Royal.
Your job—and it will require some effort—is to find and follow a strategy that works for you. No one changes because someone else tells them to. Not even Dr. Fauci can do that.
That said, here are three suggestions for you to consider, because witnessing great suffering isn’t going to go away any time soon, and many of us are stuck in a super-stressful reality and we need to tell ourselves the best story we can:
START WITH A BODY SCAN. You can’t release damaging body stress until you find it. So lie down on your back comfortably, close your eyes, and scan your entire body for “hot” spots: areas of tension, pinching, numbness, pain. Entire books have been written about how to do this, slowly, using your mind’s eye. You can learn. It just takes some time. Possibly lifetimes. It’s called body awareness.
One of my favorite body-scanning bibles is “Somatics” by Thomas Hanna. Another wonderful one is by Tias Little, a friend, called “Yoga of the Subtle Body.” A third is “Awakening Somatic Intelligence” by Risa Kaparo. (You can see what I’ve been reading to relieve my stress these days, right?)
Once you become aware of your hot spots—where you hold tension and stress—you can learn to let it go. Letting go, finding your own way to release tension is a huge part of maintaining a healthy, strong, flexible body. Focused breathing, yoga and meditation practice can lead you there, but sadly, it’s almost never covered by insurance.
And even worse, these proven practices are not getting enough attention these days. Why isn’t every doctor in America telling people to spend 10 minutes a day breathing through their noses? Don’t get me started.
STAY PRESENT. What does that even mean at a time of sheltering in place? It means that, more than ever, you need to practice some simple daily rituals that help stop the endless mental chatter and relax you, mentally and physically. It could be a gentle tai chi class. Or cooking something wonderful for your family. Or pulling weeds from your garden.
What else? Meditate! (I keep a post-it on my dresser just to keep it top-of-mind.) Take a warm bath with oils and spices. Contemplate an uplifting poem. Make yourself a cup of green tea and watch it steep
No matter what you choose, make sure you stay in the present moment by focusing on your breath. When you find yourself worrying about how you’ll pay the rent, or what will happen to your mother in the nursing home, acknowledge your concern… and bring your breath back to the present moment. Extra credit if you manage to let the corners of your lips turn up into a serene half-smile.
STAY ACTIVE. You knew this was coming, right? Exercise—especially outdoors—is a marvelous way to de-stress. So what’s your strategy for making do during this universal shut-down? Old Jane Fonda videos? Resistance bands? Reclaiming the exercise bike you’ve hung your pajamas on for the last in 10 years?
For me, it’s easy. I’m a yoga hound and live streaming classes have been my salvation. That, and my stash of krinkle cut three-ingredient potato chips. (Family size.)
I’m also adding 10 minutes of nasal breathing exercises every day to retrain my brain because I had pneumonia last year and I know I need to keep my inhales slow and deep, my exhales long and calming, all done to the sound of oceanic breathing. (Thank you, Ed Harrold, my online coach.)
Enough about me. What about you? This is where you have to do the heavy lifting and I don’t mean pumping iron in the living room, though it may come to that.
Strategy, strategy, strategy. Go online or get a book or a podcast or scour YouTube for at-home workouts that look like fun to you.
And this is key: once you find exercises that release stress, strengthen your core, active your parasympathetic nervous system, and more, you must DO them.
Whatever and whenever you do a practice that helps melt your stress, write it down. Keep track on a daily basis. If journaling is something you can’t stand, just call it a list.
Writing it down will keep you on track. Not writing it down means you’ll probably lose track, lose interest, forget to dress, or brush your teeth, and next thing you know you’ve gained 20 pounds.
Also, if you’ve got some spare cash—talk about stress!—now is a great time to invest in a piece of fitness gear for your home. I love my recumbent bike but you may prefer a treadmill, a rower, a cross-trainer. Whatever you decide on, make sure you buy quality, nothing cheap and shoddy. It’s an expense—high-end used gear is out there too—but it’s also a wise and timely investment in your future well-being.
Forget the future for now. It’s your present well-being that needs the most attention. In the present moment, all is well.
ENERGY EXPRESS-O! BE LIKE ALBERT
“When the day ends and the sun sets, I let my troubles go.”
—Albert Schweitzer